Hector's Revenge

Captain Ulysses was reading “The Iliad” in his cabin aboard the steamship Delta Darlin’ when he was distracted by three sharp knocks at the door. “Cap’n, the fog is rollin’ in. You better get to the bridge.”
“Be there in a minute,” said Ulysses, setting the book aside, “You better go rouse the pilot.”
The captain swung his legs out of the bunk and stretched. “Jesus, would this trip never end?” he thought. “Ever since we took on the 12 tons of potatoes and the 20-foot zebra in St. Louis, we’ve had one problem after another. Please God, let this fog lift so I can get back home to Ithaca, Louisiana and my sweet wife Penelope.”
Arriving on the bridge, Ulysses noticed the new pilot, Hector, was at the wheel. Hector, from Troy, New York, had signed on in St. Louis as a last-minute replacement for Mr. Palamedes, who had jumped ship. The captain peered out the bridge window, straining to see what lay ahead on the river, but a wall of dark-grey vapor limited his viewing distance. About the only thing he could make out was the head of the massive zebra tied to the deck. The wooden animal was being shipped to New Orleans for the Mardi Gras celebration.
“What’s the situation pilot?” barked Ulysses.
“Sir, I suggest we anchor and ride it out. There are too many sand bars to navigate along this section of the river; we could run aground in this fog.”
“This is also a section of the river that is frequented by river pirates,” said the captain. “This voyage is cursed.” But Ulysses couldn’t risk being stranded on a sandbar for days. The Irish potatoes could rot, and he would lose his commission. “Very well pilot, drop anchor and see that guards are posted.”
As Ulysses returned to his cabin to wait out the fog, the zebra’s belly ruptured, oozing dark shapes of men onto the foredeck. The men assembled into a group and stealthily made their way to the bridge where Hector allowed them entry. “Where’s the captain?” asked a tall man in a black, knit cap.
Hector knew the man to be James Joyce, leader of The Dubliners, one of the most vicious pirate gangs on the Mississippi. “He’s in his cabin.”
“Good. Here’s your pistol Hector, now go get your revenge for that incident at Troy, and me and the boys will start unloading the potatoes.”